chrisdutchess@verizon.net

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Please take time to read though this page.  It's powerful and inspiring for anyone going through hurts and heartaches.  Not to mention the encouragement anyone can have even if life is good...

~CHRIS & DUTCHESS~  We can truly say that writing this book has been an experience that we'll never forget.  When we first started we set ground rules that we would write what was in our hearts.  We didn't try to influence one another on what should or should not be written and that we would be honest with our feelings by telling it exactly the way it was and how we felt.  We also made it clear to one another that at no time during the writing of this book that either of us would hold any hard feelings against each other, because our past is just that, in the past.  We both have been forgiven as well as forgiven one another...

~CHRIS~  I must say that it was difficult for me because there were things I read that made me truly believe that I was an animal and yet I shouldn't have been surprised at anything Dutchess wrote, because I knew what kind of man I was all the time.  But reading and hearing the truth about myself was not easy to accept.  But nevertheless I was able to ge over the past and move forward with God's love and grace while knowing my life would change and become the way the Lord meant for me to be.  This was indeed a true healing process for me.  My wife had worked for so long and hard to help me change, but what was more important to her was the I had become a child of God.  My love for God has gone from zero to a million toward "Him" and she was happier about that han she was about me becoming a good husband, friend, lover and partner...

~DUTCHESS~  Yes, this book has helped us to grow in the Lord and so many other ways.  It allowed us to let go of all the hurt, pain and suffering that we had gone through during all those past years.  Now I am truly a happy woman and know without a shadow of a doubt that my husband loves me and that we both love the Lord.  The Lord heard my prayers and the prayers of our mothers.  I love Chris now more than I ever did.  He is truly a different person.  Praise the Lord...

~CHRIS~  After we finished the rough draft of this book we let several of our friends and family read it.  At first Dutchess was somewhat reluctant about her family reading it because for years she had always led them to believe that everything between us was good.  She also knew that even though we had been together for many years, still some of her family could not bring themselves to accept me as her husband and for them to hear that I was treating her badly would have  only confirmed what they had all said at the beginning of our relationship...

~CHRIS~  As for my family, those who read the book weren't surprised at all by my actions in the beginning of this book.  They pretty much knew what kind of a dog I was and my way of thinking, but what really surprised them was the big change that came over me and how I gave my life to Christ and how I became a better man in many ways.  As for my mother, she had a completely different reaction.  She knew the way I was but still kept praying for me.  She really liked Dutchess and got very upset at the way I had treated her.  Also she got upset at Dutchess for taking part in some of the games that affected other people's lives.  She had told Dutchess, "I don't know how you were able to put up with that boy; if that had been me, there would have been only two chapters to this book, the first chapter telling how he mistreated me and the next chapter telling how I killed him and spent the rest of my life in prison: End of story."  But eventually she was able to bypass all of the that and then she told Dutchess, "thank you for giving my son back to me and for helping him become the man he was meant to be."  Over the last few years my mother had seen changes in me but she was also my hardest critic.  It took her a long time before she started believing I had changed and had given my life to the Lord.  Now she can honestly say for the first time in her life that she is proud to call me her son once again.  She and I pray and talk about the Lord all the time on the phone and in letters.  You don't have any idea how happy this made me feel; I now have a true loving mom...

~DUTCHESS~  My mom is different; she is a sweet calm lady.  Actually more subdued than Chris's mom.  She knew things weren't always the way I led everyone to think.  But being a faithful, loving mother she never said anything, but always prayed for Chris and I and let God take care of the entire situation, which He did. She was always there when I needed encouragement and prayer.  So many times she was my "rock."  I'd talk with her and suddenly she would break out in prayer for the situation, but that's my mom!  Her prayers gave me so much strength and courage to keep going...

~CHRIS~  Now as for my friends that read the book and even some of the Correctional Officers stated that they enjoyed reading this book.  There was only a handful that made this statement to me. "The beginning and middle were great, even though you were somewhat crazy and your wife even crazier for staying with you, still it was all good.  But at the end there was a little too much talk about God, but all and all it was good."  Now whether they knew it or not they had just given me the best compliment I could ever received by stating "there was too much talk about God."  Their statement told me we had done our job that we had God's word in this book and it could penetrate their hearts.  They really needed to read His word and I believe they felt the power behind them as they read them.  They had to know how God's word had affected our lives and made us better people...

~DUTCHESS~  I took a rough draft of our book into work with me one day.  You see, all those years at work no one knew what I was going through.  As far as they were concerned I had the perfect marriage, even though Chris was in prison and also thinking I was a Christian.  Little did they know that I wasn't the person that they thought I was.  So this book and all of it's dirt was about to change their way of thinking.  This book was about to let them know that every smile was not a smile of joy and every Christian life isn't always filled with happiness.  They were about to learn that even though I had done wrong and felt the same kinds of pain that perhaps they had felt as well, they were about to learn that I was just like them, with heartaches and problems with my husband and family.  I had become a master at hiding the truth about myself and my life, the real life.  But now I no longer have to hide the truth and I am free of the past...

One of my best friends at work shared a personal health problem with me and there was a good chance that it could be serious.  The thought of this was taking a toll on her.  I felt her pain but I also knew God could help her.  I knew how it felt to be alone with seemingly no place to turn.  I couldn't say she was a Christian but I knew that even if she wasn't she could still turn her problem over to God and He would help her deal with it.  So instead of telling her all of this, I gave her our book, knowing that God's word could penetrate her heart.  She accepted the book and read it.  A few days later Chris and I were happy at the response that we received from her.  Her reaction was what we would want to receive from everyone who read it.  This book wasn't written to get rich, it was always about sharing what God has done for us and what He wants to do for you too.  This book is about God's grace, mercy and unconditional love for His children.  This is what my friend wrote, it was meant for both Chris and I...

*** I realize you don't know me, in fact you probably only heard of me when Dutchess talked to you about me reading your book.  Anyway, I finished the book on Monday and after talking with Dutchess today we decided it would be a good idea to have me share my thoughts and feelings about it.  First off, let me say THANK YOU for allowing me to read it before it went out to the public.  At the time I read the book I had been going through problems of my own at home and after reading your book I began to look at things differently. I truly believe that your book will help many people who face trying times in their lives.  I think it's wonderful how you and Dutchess are sharing parts of your life with everyone who read it.  I know I'll be referring to it from time to time when things aren't looking too good.  Your book is a inspiration and to be honest, I had trouble putting it down and some of it I could relate to myself.  Your book reminded me that there is hope, and with proper guidance and love one can find happiness.  Once again I want to say thank you to you both.  You have no idea what you have done for me.  To me, you two were a match made in heaven and would love to consider the both of you as my friends, thanks again. Donna.***

~DUTCHESS~  There is one last thing I'd like to mention.  Chris and I had never shared a church service or Christian event that they have in the prison system.  But since his conversion we have shared these events. They have real church, a pastor comes in to preach the gospel, also live music.  Some of you may not think of things like this happening, but it truly does.  I have witnessed Christian inmates standing, singing and praising the Lord.  Anyone can tell they are very sincere; the Power of God was so obvious.  Yes, there are many inmates that love the Lord, no matter what they have done in their past.  Granted, there are many that have become cold, callous and insensitive since their incarseration, but that doesn' mean that God can't penetrate and walls and bars.  He certainly can; Chris can testify to that...

~CHRIS & DUTCHESS~  In bringing this to an end we would like to say that should anyone would like to talk with either of us about anything such as prison life, or perhaps a relationship with an inmate or even in the free world, than by all means share your thoughts with us and we'll help the best way we can... God Bless...

Email: chrisdutchess@verizon.net